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Humorous birthday toasts

birthday cupcakes

Humorous birthday toasts and funny sayings give us a chance to laugh at the trials and tribulations of growing older.  Afterall, advancing birthdays are much better than the alternative. 

If there's a significant birthday in your
future  -- a birthday that ends with a
zero or a five --  celebrate with guests and offer a funny birthday toast. Remember what Marie Antoinette said:

"Let them eat cake"

There are hundreds of humorous birthday toasts. You've no doubt heard some of these funny birthday sayings:

  • Lordy Lordy -- Look who's 40
  • Isn't it nifty--Fred is 50.

Guy with birthday party hat

Here are a few more:
  • Now that he's 30, he's no longer nerdy.

  • To 60 years and Social Security
    Guess it's time to show some maturity.

  • 70 years and he's going strong
    He's still a hunk. . . but not for long.

If your birthday party guests have a good sense of humor, you might want to pull out these adaptations below of popular birthday sayings and stories or check out this collection of baby boomer humor:

Humorous birthday toasts and sayings

You're over the hill when your back goes out more than you do.

    Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.          -- Jack Benny

You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and then think about what else you might do while you're down there.
--George Burns

The generation gap is one war in which everybody eventually changes sides.
    -- Cyril Connolly

Dr. Seuss on the golden age (slightly modified from an earlier version)

The golden years have come at last,
Why don't I feel this is a blast?

I cannot see, I cannot pee.
I cannot chew. What can I do?

My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks.
No sense of smell..I look like hell.

My body's drooping, got trouble pooping.
And people ask, "Why am I stooping?"

The golden years have come at last.
The golden years can kiss my ass.

Senior life on the highway 

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful."

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car.
It's hundreds of them!"

birthday cake

See also

Toasts and sayings celebrating wisdom

Toasts for the glorious middle ages

Retirement toasts

Toast tips

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